A Public Service Announcement

For some time, many of us have wondered, "Who is Jack Shit?"  We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Shit!"  Well, thanks to my efforts, you can now respond effectively:

Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who married O Shit.  In turn Jack Shit married Noe Shit and had six children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the twins Deep Shit and Dip Shit.  Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a highschool dropout.  After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock.  Meanwhile Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a child with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Shit.  Fulla Shit and Give Shit married the Happens brothers in a double wedding.  The newspaper invited everyone to the Shit-Happens wedding.  Bull Shit traveled the world and returned home with an Italian bride, Pisa Shit. 

So from now on, no one can tell you that you don't know Jack Shit!

 

You're welcome.  You can thank me later :)

The Fragile State of Marriage

Should we applaud a marriage dissolved? Even, or maybe especially, if it dissipated like an oil slick, at the end resembling not so much what it was intended to be, but rather just a sheen of its former self on the surface of two lives?

Lots of things are being written about the Gores' breakup, including this post at Double X.

Amanda Marcotte writes:

But I suppose I just really object to the discourse in which marriages are deemed a success if they end in death and a failure if they end in divorce. It turns marriage into a competitive sport and shames divorcees for making what was usually the best choice for them. It's also misleading. Everyone's been around those longstanding couples who loathe each other but are prevented from ending it because of inertia. I can't support any system that privileges couples who snipe at each other every chance they get over those who decide to part ways instead of making themselves and everyone around them miserable.

I have to strongly disagree with her determination that the common wisdom deems a marriage a success if it lasts until death and a failure if not. I think we're all wiser than that. Nobody who has been around one of those 'sniping' couples she mentions even remotely considers lauding them for staying together in a dysfunctional relationship! We've all know couples who'd have been better off divorced.

But that doesn't mean we should celebrate the decision to quit and move on.

The truth is, marriage is a living thing. It requires nurturing - you have to keep checking on it, and adjusting your approach as it grows and changes. Some times it needs discipline, some times you put up with it being less than ideal for a while, some times you challenge it to do better. Sometimes you have to be willing to understand that you are the one who needs a little work; that your marriage isn't the reason you're not happy, it's you. And you have to be willing to step up and do that work, providing sweat equity toward the marriage.

The Gores say their lives went in different directions. Understandable, for people with so many options on their plates, what are the chances they'd both want to take the same path? But they let it happen. Surely there were many opportunities for one or the other to make a compromise, and no doubt many of those compromises were made. And either someone got tired of compromising, or they got far enough apart that the gap was too far for compromise to span. Either way, it was still a failure. I'm certain neither of the Gores is feeling proud of dissolving their marriage, and neither should we exalt them for doing so. Even in the name of 'doing what is right for me'.

Sure, they're being adult about it. Their children are grown, they are free to follow their hearts, and that's their prerogative. But I will not celebrate the fact that they were unable to work together toward a common goal any longer.

One of the commenters said:

I've come to wonder if being married is a vocation, a calling, in much the same way that some (only a few) have the calling to the religious life.

The nugget of truth in that is that yes, some people most likely do come to marriage in the way that others come to parenting or ice skating or drawing or any other creative endeavor: easily and naturally. For the rest of us, it can be a lot of effort to get a good result. So we shouldn't condemn those who try and fail, but neither should we celebrate that failure. Let's save our accolades for those who get it right, whether easily and naturally or through hard work and stubborn determination.

And let the Gores mourn their marriage privately.

Kaedee's Big Trip

Kaedee and I spent a week in NYC on Wednesday! It was a wild, whirlwind trip!
I'm going to write a few posts here about it for friends who would like to see and hear more, and to keep a record for myself!

So the story begins...

One day I was avoiding work by messing around on the internet, and somehow I came across a link to enter the Barbie's I Can Be... mentor contest. Kaedee was in the room, so I asked her if she thought she'd like to enter. She looked it over and said, yeah sure. So I wrote the essay the online application asked for, filled out all the info, and clicked SUBMIT.

One of those things you do a zillion times, but you just KNOW you'll never win. It's a nationwide search, they must get thousands of submissions.

Weeks go by, and one night at 9:30PM my cell phone rings. I look at the caller ID and it's a number with a strange 310 area code, so I don't answer it. But they leave a message, so I figure, hmmm maybe I should see what it was! Curiosity will kill this cat one of these days!

It was Stefani Green from Mattel to tell us Kaedee is on the short list and they'd like to verify that we'll be free to travel on the dates they'd need us too. I about fell over myself calling her back! Turns out she was in LA and forgot it was so much later here. And yes, Kaedee was on the short list!

We had to go online and look up the contest to remind ourselves what we'd entered! The contest was a partnership between Barbie/Mattel and The White House Project. The WHP does an annual list of "10 Women to Watch" every year, and this year they teamed up with Barbie. They matched up 10 girls with mentors, and Kaedee was going to be one of them! We were so excited, but on pins and needles, afraid to hope! Kaedee said, "Mom, I just wish I knew how short that list is!!"

Two days later, I'm in the middle of a private Photoshop class with a student, and my phone rings. I see that 310 area code and my heart stops. I excuse myself to take the call. And it's good news!! She's IN! The Mattel lady told me ALL kinds of information, I could hardly take it all in. Then I had to finish the class!

I raced into town and went to the High School, and checked Kaedee out. She must have been wondering what the heck was going on, but as soon as she saw my face she knew! I think there was some jumping up and down, and maybe a little squealing. It's all a blur. We called Dad, and hurried home to see if the email came from Mattel with the details, since my head was so full I couldn't remember everything!

We were now in full panic mode... for two weeks! Checking schedules to see what had to be re-arranged, figuring out what we would need for the trip! I had NOTHING fit to wear in the same room as Meryl Streep! Lists, lists, lists. Google, google google. Check maps to see where in the city we'd be. Look up the people we'd be meeting so we'd be informed. Hunt for clothes.

Once I found a dress for the gala awards event, I felt much better, but there were still a lot of details to deal with. But time marched along, and before we knew it we were packing up Daddy's big "road warrior" suitcase and loading up the mp3 players for a long travel day.

More of our story tomorrow...