You Want me to Do WHAT??

I know I haven't posted on here in forever, but I'm feeling the urge to write again!

I'm the girl you call first. When you need a cake for the bake sale, when you need people to serve snacks at field day, whatever. I'm fortunate enough to stay home with my kids (though I do run an online business) so I'm available, contactable, and... gullible?

The last year or so, I've struggled with what it means to serve. I've always had this despicable inablity to say no - and I can justify saying yes a million ways! If not me, who? If not me, it won't get done well. If I say no, people will think I'm not being cooperative (helpful, a team player). But then I find myself grinding through some project and resenting the time and emotional investment. And let's not even GO to the 'thankless' part...

But I'm learning. In the last six months, I've divested myself of a couple of responsibilities that were causing more grief than joy. I've said no more than once, I'm pretty sure. But I still don't feel like I'm 'getting it'.

Then I came across this quote:
"One aspect of serving others is listening to the call within to express your gifts - those talents you have that make you feel infinite when you are doing them. When we express those gifts, the Holy Spirit works through us in ways we may never know directly, touching the lives, hearts, and minds of others." - Joanna Bates, Environmental scientist, Dancer and Writer

I have it taped to the bottom of my monitor, and look at it daily. And I think it's starting to sink in. "...feel infinite..." That just jumped out and grabbed me!! THAT'S IT! That's the feeling I have when I finish teaching a class and I feel like the students connected with the project. The feeling I have when I make something beautiful. When I master a skill I previously thought impossible. I always knew there was that 'zone' I get in, but now I had a word for it - infinite. And now I understand to honor that feeling, and seek it. Because when I'm IN my infinite state, God can work through me. I am most connected to Him, because I'm using the gifts He gave especially to me!

So... I'm trying to choose to say yes to things that will give me the opportunity to connect to my infinity - and say no to those that are just chores. Anyone can do chores. Only I can use the gifts I was given the way He intended.

My husband says that he loves the look I get on my face when I'm in 'the zone'. He says, "you look so happy!" Now I know what that look is, it's the Holy Spirit, my little light out from under the bushel. Kewl.

Jenn